People often ask me why leadership seems so challenging. I’m quite visual, so I often use simple metaphors to understand and explain things. This morning, while thinking about how to explain self-image and external perception, it struck me again how fundamental they are for companies and leaders. Before my mid-20s, I only vaguely understood this topic. My brother, who’s a psychiatrist, used to struggle with my lack of deeper thinking when I was younger. When I finally grasped it, it was like a revelation—funny but also scary. A friend once said he wished he wasn’t aware of these things because life seemed easier, but I believe that’s only true in the short run, not the long run. The image of a lifebuoy came to mind as a metaphor. Let me explain why.

Ideal and Real Self-Image: A Psychological Perspective

Psychologists often talk about the ‚ideal self,‘ your dreams and ambitions, and the ‚real self,‘ who you are now. The ideal self represents your dreams, ambitions, and the qualities you wish to embody – the person you aspire to become. In contrast, the real self is who you are right now, with all your traits, behaviors, and feelings. This is your unfiltered self, complete with strengths and flaws.

Wicklund and Frey say self-reflection helps us see our strengths and where we need to improve. A small gap means you’re close to being the person you want to be, which boosts your self-esteem. A large gap, however, can lead to frustration, dissatisfaction, and even anxiety or depression.

Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham’s Johari Window, from 1955, breaks down self-awareness into four parts: the open area (known to self and others), the blind area (unknown to self but known to others), the hidden area (known to self but unknown to others), and the unknown area (unknown to both self and others). This model emphasizes the importance of feedback and self-disclosure in expanding the open area, thus improving self-awareness and interpersonal relationships.

In the business world, these concepts apply to both companies and leaders. Companies often have an ideal image – how they want to be seen – which can differ greatly from their real image as perceived by customers and stakeholders. Similarly, leaders have an ideal self-image – the type of leader they strive to be – which might not match how their team and colleagues see them. “People trust you when you are genuine and authentic, not a replica of someone else”.

A company’s self-image is how it sees and portrays itself. Stefan Kühl calls this the „show-side“ – the polished front presented to customers, investors, and other stakeholders. It’s the carefully curated image you encounter at conferences and job interviews. So the ideal self-image is like the sales-pitch.

External Perception of Companies

External perception or real self-image, on the other hand, is how customers, partners, and the public see the company. Customer experiences and interactions shape this perception, which can differ greatly from the company’s self-image. For example, a company might tout itself as innovative and customer-centric, while customers see it as rigid and unresponsive. Little cues ares e.g. that companies say that they are customer-centric but in decisions are not based on user-research or real outside-in data.

“People trust you when you are genuine and authentic, not a replica of someone else”.

from "Discovering Your Authentic Leadership" by Bill George, Peter Sims, Andrew N. McLean, and Diana Mayer,

Why Understanding Both Matters

Reality Check: If a company doesn’t understand its external perception, it risks living in a fantasy. A huge gap between self-image and external perception can lead to a loss of trust and a damaged reputation.

Strategic Adjustment: Knowing how others see you helps a company adjust its strategies and actions to better meet the needs and expectations of customers and stakeholders.

What can we do to Capture External Perception

Market Research: Surveys, interviews, and focus groups can reveal how others perceive the company.

User Research: Direct interactions and feedback loops with customers provide insights into their experiences and views.

Testing and Usability: User tests and usability studies show how products and services are actually used and perceived.

Self-Image and External Perception of Leaders

How leaders see themselves, including their strengths and weaknesses, shapes their self-image. This image is often determined by personal reflection and their understanding of leadership. „Authentic leaders demonstrate a passion for their purpose, practice their values consistently, and lead with their hearts as well as their heads“ (George et al.)

External perception is how a leader is viewed and experienced by their team, colleagues, and other stakeholders. It’s reflected in their day-to-day behavior. The quote „What you do is so loud that I can’t hear what you say“ captures this perfectly. This perception can be very different from the leader’s self-view and provides crucial insights into their maturity and authenticity – sometimes even a greeting from their subconscious.

„The journey to authentic leadership begins with understanding the story of your life. Your life story provides the context for your experiences, and through it, you can find the inspiration to make an impact in the world.“ (George et al)

Importance of Understanding Both sides of the coin

Self-improvement and building trust are two critical aspects of effective leadership. Feedback and self-reflection are essential for personal growth and development as a leader. By understanding how others perceive them, leaders can build trust and credibility with their team through authentic and transparent actions.

"Most of us think we have to make a difficult, binary choice between being a good person or being a tough, effective leader. This is a false dichotomy. In truth, doing hard things is often the most human thing to do. There are two key ingredients: wisdom and compassion."​
from "How to Be Both an Effective Leader and a Good Person" was written by Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter

How can we do this? These are three Methods to Capture the real self-image:

Seeking Feedback: Regular, honest, and structured feedback from colleagues and team members provides valuable insights.

Self-Reflection: Critically thinking about one's behavior and decisions supports personal development. This practice, known as the balcony view, involves observing oneself from a distance.

Observation: Actively listening to and observing the reactions and behaviors within the team helps in understanding external perception better.

My Key Learnings

  • Embrace Self-Awareness: Recognizing the gap between who you are and who you aspire to be is vital for both personal and professional growth. This self-awareness helps identify strengths and areas needing improvement. As Goleman points out, reflecting on yourself is crucial to understand both your capabilities and where you can grow​​. By being true to yourself, you build more trust and credibility with your team and colleagues​​ (Goleman, Daniel. What Makes a Leader).
  • Align Perceptions: It's important for both companies and leaders to align their self-image with how others see them. A big difference between these can erode trust and damage reputations. This alignment helps in making realistic plans and adjustments. Kühl describes this balance by comparing the polished "show-side" to the genuine self-image​​ (How to Be Both an Effective Leader and a Good Person by Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter)
  • Seek Feedback and Reflect: Regularly seeking honest feedback and taking time for self-reflection are essential for continuous growth. Listening to your team and peers provides valuable insights into how you are perceived. Additionally, taking a step back to critically evaluate your actions, known as the "balcony view," helps in understanding and improving your leadership approach​​. This combination of feedback and self-reflection fosters personal development and better aligns your self-image with external perceptions.

Understanding both self-image and external perception is crucial for companies and leaders. It allows for a realistic self-assessment, and helps build trust and credibility. Regular reflection and feedback are essential to align these images and continuously improve to stay future-proof.

"Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, drives, and their effect on others. It is characterized by a deep understanding of one’s strengths and weaknesses, and the capacity for self-reflection and introspection."​​
from "What makes a leader" by Daniel Goleman

Let’s come back to „The Lifebuoy of Leadership“ metaphor, for me it emphasizes the support systems leaders need to navigate their challenges. Just as a lifebuoy offers safety in turbulent waters, understanding self-image and external perception helps leaders manage their roles. It grounds them, aids in good decision-making, and builds trust within their teams. This dual awareness ensures that leaders‘ actions are in harmony with their values and meet their team’s expectations.

Embracing this dual perspective is a challenging, not always comfortable and a never-ending task, but companies and leaders can ensure they stay grounded in reality and responsive to the needs of those they serve.

Further Readings and Sources:

„Discovering Your Authentic Leadership“ by Bill George, Peter Sims, Andrew N. McLean, and Diana Mayer, published in the Harvard Business Review. This quote emphasizes the importance of authenticity

„How to Be Both an Effective Leader and a Good Person“ was written by Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter

„Organisationen“ a short introduction by Stefan  Kühl

„What makes a leader“ by Daniel Goleman

Ideal self-image Johari-Window real self-image